I got a call from The Fancy Clinic, where my sperm was residing.

“Hi Evie,” the woman on my voicemail said, “When you were here on Saturday and said you left your wallet in the car, you never paid. You still owe from Saturday.”

I deleted the message from The Fancy Clinic, because I wasn’t there on Saturday.

The next day, The Fancy Clinic called again to tell me I owed them from Saturday.

I made it clear that I didn’t come on Saturday. I was there the week before. 

The woman apologized and said that they must have switched the names in the computer.

 “Wait, so my sperm could have been someone else’s? Did I get her sperm and she got mine?” 

She apologized, “It was a computer error, not a lab error. Your sample was gone on the Saturday in question.”

I hung up, not completely satisfied.