“I’ve just started going to The Fancy Clinic,” I told Kimberly.

“Do you like it there?” She asked.

“Um,” I didn’t, but I was trying to stay positive. “I didn’t really click with Dr. X, but it’s supposed to be the best place, so…”

Kimberly smiled.

“Do you know people who’ve gone there?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, “If you don’t like the doctor, you don’t have to stay. I can give you names of wonderful doctors you will love.”

“OK,” I said. “Thanks.” The thought of going somewhere else and telling them my whole story again and going through the crying in the office and everything made me weary. “The Fancy Clinic is supposed to be the best, so I’ll stick it out. I’m sure it will get better.”

Kimberly nodded and asked me to stick out my tongue. It must not have looked good because she asked, “Have you cut out alcohol, sugar and caffeine?”

“Yes!” I told her. I was suffering massive caffeine withdrawals and apparently my tongue wasn’t reflecting it.

I’m not sure Kimberly believed me. “By eliminating caffeine, sugar and alcohol and drinking the herbs, you are nurturing your garden for a seed to grow.” She motioned to her uterus.

I wanted to nurture my garden.

The giving up coffee thing was a hideous struggle; I feel headachy and nauseous just thinking about it. But now, what was I going to do? Decaf coffee wasn’t an option – it still had caffeine in it and also the chemicals for decaffeinating.

I had to turn to tea. I’d always been a coffee lover and tea disliker; tea was for people without balls, ya know?

Blech.

I tried all kinds of teas as I spent many many mornings with an unsatisfied, tired haze. But I was determined to follow Kimberly’s orders. I was going to do whatever I had to do to have my baby.

I was also drinking the herbs, which, if you’ve never had Chinese herbs, taste like they should put you in the hospital instead of help you. They are bitter and pungent and gag inducing. The preparation was messy, stinky and time-consuming, yet I was consistent. I drank that smelly stuff quickly and exactly according to the rules.

Then, I found this tea:

When I discovered this tea, I everything changed. This tea had flavor and for some reason, it comforted me and gave me strength. The fact that the tea that saved me was from Trader Joes, my future husband, is quite ironic.

I went back to buy more and they were out of it.

I called every Trader Joe’s in LA and most of the locations were sold out. I found two boxes left and asked them to hold them for me. 

When I traveled back east to visit Dan’s family for the holidays (as I’ve done for the last 15 years) I found a Trader Joe’s that had 10 boxes of this tea in stock. I asked them to hold them for me and made Dan drive me to get them. He was very supportive about my tea and even tried not to drink his coffee in front of me.

Only a few friends noticed I was off coffee. “I’ve been drinking too much caffeine,” I told them. And now I was becoming a tea drinker and I was caffeine free.

So weird. So not as cool.

Oh well. It was for my garden.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/avlxyz/4748323745/”>avlxyz</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>