Spenser and I started the year with bad, vomity stomach flus, then we got bad colds with deep, wet, long lasting coughs (my cough is just now getting better, but still lingering) then I got a stomach flu again and now Spenser has a fever! We had to miss a really fun day with friends we really wanted to be with today. So, I spent today giving Spenser infant Advil and eating spaghetti with marinara out of a jar, trying not to cry as I kept getting errors on my “fixed” computer.

My computer broke down (I think from a virus I got from trying to download Downton Abbey second season, for free. I got a virus, didn’t get Downton Abbey and then read a sh*t storm of Downtown Abbey spoilers on Facebook so now I don’t ever need to see it.)

I took my computer to a little store front place that had been recommended by a friend. There are three guys that work there, and I’m sure their computer skills are wonderful (even though it took 3 weeks and two trips to fix… And I still need help) but their communication skills are dreadful. I had to call many times and the calls went like this:

Me: So, what’s wrong with my computer?
Guy 1: I don’t know, I didn’t work on it.
Me: ok, who did?
Guy 1: um, I don’t know.
Me: can I talk to someone else?
He goes and gets Guy 2.
Guy 2: Hello?
I repeat the situation.
Guy 2: Oh yeah, it’s not done.
Me: do you know what’s wrong with it and when it might be done?
Guy:2: No.
Me: could you find out.
Guy 2 goes away and comes back.
Guy 2: it’s not done.
Me: ok, do you know when it will be done?
Guy: no. It’s not done.
Me: do you know what’s wrong with it?
Guy 2: No. I didn’t work on it.
Etc.

One of the computer guys there is really hot but has a major introvert thing happening. I kind of want to take him home and do a makeover on him like in a good 80’s movie. Or a bad 80’s movie. He doesn’t need a lot of help; as I said, he’s really hot.
He’d come over to my Cheerio covered home and I’d give him a beer and put on some good music (maybe some Nick Drake, which is kind of moody or my favorite Greg Laswell, who I’ve been to see live a few times, by myself) and I’d just loosen him up a little (you know, whatevs.) Then, he would display his masculinity by fixing my computer. Because that’s my foreplay. Because I’m helpless and he saves me… from errors and admin access codes and adobe download blocks.

I’m still posting on my iPad right now because of all things, I can’t sign into my blog account because I can’t remember the password. I’m just tired. My son is sick, my house is a mess, it’s 10pm and I’m going to bed.

Ok, I’m going to stop complaining, but I am going to put it out there that the next guy I date is going to be a computer genius and he’s going to be available to help me 24/7. It’s now my top-priority-quality – over good cook, over good heavy things carrier, over good at handyman stuff, over cool friends, over plays guitar and writes songs for me… but not over rich, because if he’s rich I can hire lots of computer tech support. And not over the sex stuff.
One sexy computer genius who loves to fix my computer and install things I need like anti virus stuff and new versions of things… all the time.

I think maybe computer skills are the new sexy and I just never noticed because I was too busy being single and having a baby and liking it. Now that I think about it, one of the hottest guys I know is a computer genius. My eyes are open.

Here’s what’s really going to happen: I’m going to spend my free time over the next few days (while Spenser sleeps) googling “Windows 7 troubleshooting,” and eventually, I’ll find some tutorial that will help me. I don’t really need my sex/computer slave. It would just be nice.