Lately, I’ve been doing nothing during Spenser’s naps. Nothing meaning: surfing the web, watching TV, chatting on the phone….

Today, I watched the entire web series Burning Love. I don’t like a lot of comedies (because I am a comedy snob and because I think my friends and I are funnier than everything) but I LOVE this show. It’s a parody on The Bachelor series…. but I think you have to watch The Bachelor and Bachelorette to appreciate it fully.

And…

This still isn’t fixed.

Why don’t I just fix it? Don’t I love myself enough to think I deserve light when I’m restocking Qtips, putting on my contact lenses, straight ironing my hair and applying mascara? Light’s a basic need, right? Like food and shelter.

It’s been three weeks, for sure. Maybe longer. If I were living with another person (over three feet who talked,) I’m sure I’d feel pressure to fix it immediately. Why is it OK for me to live like this? Why don’t I want to try to fix it or hire the handyman to fix it?  Why is it OK for me to go outside and have my neighbor say, “I like your makeup.”?  Who gets a compliment on their make up at 10am when they are on their way to meet friends at the park?  What she was trying to say was you are wearing a lot of makeup, because I had accidentally used the tinted moisturizer my sister gave me, and probably didn’t blend it. Because it was dark in my bathroom.

Also, I’m not really cooking for myself, lately. I make Spenser good, healthy meals and then (don’t judge me) I eat his leftovers… like for my meal.

That’s my dinner. I mean,  maybe add a yogurt or some chocolate, but that’s what I eat. Mostly because I’m too tired to cook more for myself and then clean more. But also, it saves money. Why should I buy extra food for myself? Eating Spenser’s leftovers is also good incentive to make sure he’s washed his hands well before eating.

If I had a partner, I imagine he’d object to eating high chair tray leftovers.  Maybe cook me delicious meals or bring home excellent take out and then I’d gain weight. Right?

My dinner of buttered peas & corn, whole wheat macaroni, lentils and pieces of hamburger is pretty tasty. And you can’t beat the prep time.