Here are a few things that have come up this week:
1. I have a lot of friends; some are parents, many are not. It’s doesn’t matter to me. Personally, I’ve always been confused by moms who are looking specifically for mom friends… unless they don’t have ANY mom friends, I guess. So, whenever I’m in a class or something with Spenser, I always think how glad I am that I’m not looking for mom friends because I could never meet anyone I liked. I have my child in 2 gym classes a music class and take him to the park (blech yuck) and I rarely even say hi to anyone (I mean, I say hi, but I just rarely have a chat.) Ok, well I did actually like this woman that we met at the Pumpkin Patch (turns out she owned the place.) We exchanged numbers, but never called each other. So, I finally bonded with this woman in one of S’s gym classes. She’s really nice, our boys are the same age (though they don’t really even look at each other at class) and she also grew up in LA. I asked where she went to high school and she told me she was much older than me. When I told her I was 44, she admitted she was a few years younger and thought I was 34! So, I love her. Well, turns out she’s moving to Argentina for a year and a half.
2. Spenser is obsessed with making all of his things (bath toy animals, Elmo toys… anything with a face) fall down. Then, I have to say, “Oh no, did he fall? Does he need a hug and a kiss?” The S says yes. If I don’t say that every time, Spenser just doesn’t stop calling me till I say it. Even if I say, “Oh wow” or “I see he fell,” he needs me to stick to the script.
3. At the market yesterday (not Trader Joe’s. I needed Qtips.) a man alone, in his 40’s or 50’s was in line behind us. He was being really friendly and I was grossed out. I tried to make myself be nice, telling myself that if this guy was better looking or something, I’d be naturally more receptive, so don’t be mean. So I was friendly and then he said to Spenser, “Can I tickle you? Do you want a tickle?” OK. So my instinct to be stand offish was correct. Well, I’m glad he asked, but NO! Gross. You don’t touch a stranger’s child. You don’t try to tickle a child especially when he’s clinging to his mother and any tickling would obviously graze a breast or two. I was physically trapped. This man was 2 inches away and I was pressed up against a shopping cart. “Yeah,” Spenser said. Oh God. I was trying to figure out a way to nicely say that it was inappropriate to tickle a strange toddler in a market line when the guy said “No?” He misheard.
“He said NO. Sorry. He doesn’t want to be tickled.”
Just started me thinking about boundaries and that soon, I have to teach my boy that you can’t trust everyone.
4. I took S to the park today, unexpectedly. I had some sunscreen in my purse. The greasy stick kind for adults, not kids.
I’ve been so careful about putting only the most baby friendly sunscreen on him, but oh well. I greased him down and in 1 second, sand was stuck to all of his exposed skin. Ugh. For sure I was giving him a bath before lunch.
The park was filled with babies and nannies. S was having fun mostly pretending to fall and then prompting me to ask if he was OK and needed a hug and a kiss (we could have been doing that at home, not in direct sunlight.) I was happy when S wanted to slide and run around because he needs that activity. I was also glad when he played in the sand because he loves putting stuff into things and then dumping it out. I didn’t bring our sand toys, which made me a lot less stressed. For some reason, I feel like other kids are not being monitored as they take my child’s sand toys, so I have to keep track of his shovel and rake. One time, at a park, a child licked Spenser’s ball for 15 minutes, while his mom talked to her friend about finding inspiration at yoga class, and I’m positive, that is why we got those horrible colds back in January.
I am a responsible sand toy borrower and always make sure the items stay close to the owner and are returned.
Thank you to Keanu, for sharing his bucket.
So interesting. When I had little kids I talked to everyone. People love to talk about themselves and I am a good listener. I learned all about their lives. When I went with one of my nieces to a class, I came home and told my sister all the news of the moms. She of course never talked to anyone. Came from same parents but very different personalities. I love to hear peoples’ stories.