“I’M 28 AND THINKING OF BECOMING A MOM SOLO SOMEDAY…”one of my blog readers wrote to me.
My first thought was to respond oh you’re so young, you’ll meet someone.
And then, I caught myself.
What if this woman wants to be a Mom Solo?!?! What if that is her first choice??? What if she knows herself and knows she doesn’t want a partner?
Am I, the happy Mom Solo blogger, going to really tell her to wait to meet someone? Being a Mom Solo doesn’t have to be thought of as a Plan B. It makes sense that we all start out thinking we should have the conventional life, but then… life happens.
We are told that being in a forever romantic relationship is the goal. Maybe it is. Maybe that’s what we are meant to do. Or maybe we are just meant to simply LOVE; love a partner, love a child, love our parents and siblings, love our friends. Bonding and deepening relationships – caring- committing. Having fulfilling love.
If someone goes through their life without finding true romantic love, who is going to judge their life as not as rich as someone who was married for 50 years? Isn’t it up to each person to decide what makes them happy and what they want in their life?
Why isn’t choosing to be a Mom Solo an acceptable first choice? It’s harder some say. Well… yes, maybe in some ways…. but relationships are hard too – marriages are hard – in other ways. It’s all hard, at times.
The older I get the more I see – EVERYONE has challenges – different challenges. There are married people challenges and single people challenges. It’s just part of life.
I’ve had relationships. I’ve dated. I chose this life because I’ve always felt happier single, and I feel happiest as a mom. That’s me. It took me till I was 40 to really embrace it. This is NOT how everyone feels, of course, but if this 28 year old knows what she wants – good for her!
If someone had shown me the life I have now, when I was 28, I think I would have started as a Mom Solo sooner, myself.
We are all so lucky to have choices.
I’m so lucky I was able to choose to be a Mom Solo.
I’m so lucky.
AND!!!!!!! CHECK THIS OUT…..
My friend sent me this link to this movie trailer “First Comes Love.” I haven’t seen the movie yet, but it looks like the east coast version of my life. It made me cry and it made me even more proud of my choice and my life… and that was just the trailer!!! It looks like you can catch it on HBO!
Also, I almost named this blog “First Comes Baby,” but then Drea thought of Mom Solo.
MOM SOLO 
At 28, I often feel that I’m “too young” to be embarking on this journey, that I should give myself more time, but you’re right – sometimes you just know. I have given myself 3 years to seriously consider this choice and make sure it wasn’t just a passing phase (not that I thought it was!). Each person’s circumstances and life is different and we could turn around in another 10 or 15 years when we still haven’t met anyone and it be too late.
Great post!
It’s so great that you know what you want! It’s beautiful! xox
great advice and I true agree that for us Mom Solo’s we have the desire to LOVE and it doesn’t necessarily have to be fulfilled by a married partner. I’m some times sad that my sister, who married at 21 and has four kids, misses out on the amazing friendships I have with that have only come to fruition because I live the single life, because I’m more available, less tied down. For me, 28 would have been too early but for others I can image it’s the perfect age to start a family.
And always, your photos of S are just adorable, what a great looking son you have!
I agree I wasn’t ready at 28 because I was busy doing stuff and seeing people… I do love that I’ve done a lot. Makes me feel great about staying home with my guy.
Reblogged this on immaculateconceptionmom and commented:
I absolutely love this entry from mom solo. She writes,
“We are told that being in a forever romantic relationship is the goal. Maybe it is. Maybe that’s what we are meant to do. Or maybe we are just meant to simply LOVE; love a partner, love a child, love our parents and siblings, love our friends. Bonding and deepening relationships – caring- committing. Having fulfilling love.
If someone goes through their life without finding true romantic love, who is going to judge their life as not as rich as someone who was married for 50 years? Isn’t it up to each person to decide what makes them happy and what they want in their life?
Why isn’t choosing to be a Mom Solo an acceptable first choice? It’s harder some say. Well… yes, maybe in some ways…. but relationships are hard too – marriages are hard – in other ways. It’s all hard, at times.
The older I get the more I see – EVERYONE has challenges – different challenges. There are married people challenges and single people challenges. It’s just part of life.”
I agree so much that I had to re-post. Thank you Mom Solo!
thank you! I’m so happy you shared this and I’m so happy it resonated with you!!