I went to a Halloween event with Spenser and lots of other kids and families.
S went in the pumpkin jummpy bounce house thing. He was nervous at first, then excited.
The guy working the pumpkin bounce house was doing his job, reminding kids to take off their shoes, telling kids their time was up… that sort of thing.
By the time it was our turn, the other kids were gone and S went in alone. I waved at him through the windows.
As S was jumping, the worker guy asked me, “Is he your only child?”
“Yes,” I answered.
People love to ask that. They also love to ask if you are going to have another child. I find that to be a VERY personal question and I always wonder why people ask.
Then the guy said, “How long have you been married?”
I stared at him.
“How LONG have I been married?” I had to make sure that’s what he said. What the hell kind of question is that to ask a stranger when you work at a place that someone is paying money to be at, for their child’s entertainment. I mean, certainly, that’s not what he meant to say. Would a married woman be offended by this question? I don’t know. It sort of cut me like… exposed me for being so abnormal, that I stick out and even the guy who works at the kids’ bouncy noticed I was different.
He didn’t flinch or apologize for the question.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Um….” I didn’t know how to answer. I was trying to spit out the words none of your business but that is not something I could really say in real life. Then, I was just gonna lie and say ten years, when he said-
“You’re not married?”
“Um, yeah,” I answered and didn’t look at him the rest of the jump time.
I was kind of disturbed. Why did he say that???
Here are my guesses:
1. I might have been the only mom at this place without a huge rock on her finger (but still, why does someone ask that just because you aren’t wearing a ring?)
2. He thought I was over baring or over protective, which sometimes single moms have the reputation of being…. but seriously, every mom there was like Hayden, don’t do that and Jasper don’t touch that etc.
3. He reads my blog. He recognized us and was making sure it was really me. (I’m sort of joking on this… this was a youngish, tshirt and jeans guy, didn’t seem at all interested in kids or moms or anything like that. This seemed like it was just a job – like he wasn’t there because he just loved kids so much. That being said, dude, if you are reading this, please tell my why you asked me that.)
4. I know you might think he was hitting on me, but it just wasn’t like that. He was so stone faced and so bored and so just not energetic in any way. And, I was a shlubby mess anyway, but certainly didn’t put any energy out to him. (I’d tell you if I did. Seriously.) And he wasn’t flirty at all!!
5. He has Aspergers or some other social disorder.
I don’t know. That question bothered me a lot. Why would a guy who mans the pumpkin bounce house ask a total stranger mom how long she’d been married without really any other verbal exchanges.
What do you think?
On another note, check out this scary story and free give away from Grace Grows author Shelle Sumners.
I am starting to get all those questions in my pregnant state. Still trying to come up with good snarky responses. So far…”My husband is dead” pretty much shuts down the conversation.
Probably bored and thought you looked friendly enough to ask. Not always a negative thing.
true, Madge, but if I always looked at the positive, I’d have nothing to write about!