When I was little I played with Barbies, and I was always losing their tiny shoes

When I used to babysit (which I did for many many years in my 20’s and 30’s) the girls played with Polly Pockets, which were about 1/3 of the size of Barbies… and their shoes were too. I used to be horrified at the teensy tiny accessories the little girls would play with – I mean, almost too mini to even SEE let alone play with!! But the girls LOVED their Polly Pockets – boxes and boxes of these small things with their sunflower seed sized shoes! Oh God! I’d never have Polly Pockets for my kid!!

And now…. My home is full of small things. BUT, not the tiniest things yet, because those are still a choking hazard, but things small enough to get lost… in my not very spacious home.

There have been a few important small things, gone missing, namely one of these guys; a special beloved gift from Dan:

The one with the green sunglasses on his head… his name is Sue 2 (Dan named him, thinking he was a girl) and he is just gone! He’s got to be somewhere in our house! But, I can’t help but think (now that I’ve seen Toy Story 100 times) that he was missing his toy family or upset with his girl name or unhappy with his storage placement and got up and walked away, trying to get to Hawaii for real.

There’s something that happens to me when a special small toy gets lost… I feel like I’ve failed. Why can’t I keep track of everything??? My home is crowded, but not disorganized! Did it slide under the bed? Is it behind a night stand? Was it thrown in a drawer? I mean…. IT CAN DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!!!!

All the little figurines and cars and things that S decides he’s bringing with him as we leave for the day, have a 50/50 chance of returning home. “I’m bringing the yellow car,” he announces to me, and I pay attention. I know I’m in charge of it. I must always look for it and pick it up off the seat of the booth in the restaurant and I must find it on the train table at a friends’ house. This is why, when the yellow car doesn’t make it back home… I blame myself. It hurts.

I know, there are lessons in losing things. But not yet! I still don’t want to ever let my boy down. I want to make it run smoothly for him while I can. There are enough things beyond my control to throw off the delicate balance of life. Can’t I be the amazing little toy tracker? Can’t I save the day a little longer?

Sue 2, if you are out there… please come home. You are the bane of my existence. Mahalo.