BIG STEPS

I sat down to write and got distracted on Facebook, I watched this video  by OK GO and it made me motion sick. It’s a very cool video, but I’m still dizzy (I’m SO sensitive!!)

I guess I wanted to write a bit about some other things making my head spin. There are a lot of changes all of a sudden:

*My son turned 3

*My son is potty trained

*My son dropped naps

*My son has graduated from crib to big boy bed

*My son has developed a very strong will, passionate temper and ability to fight

*My son is about to start preschool

He’s handling all of his accomplishments very well. All these changes are exciting and wonderful and as S grows, he’s getting more independent, which is great. And yet hard and painful for me. I feel a little knot in my stomach, as preschool draws near. Just as the naps dropped and a full day of fun is on the table, now school will take that place. I made a huge list of things I want to do with him before he goes to school – museums, attractions, amusement parks, farms etc. I think I’m not the only one who’s feeling it – S has been a little uncharacteristically clingy and adorably loving.

Without that 2 hour break from the naps, I’m feeling overwhelmed and lost, desperate for time to pay bills or make food or clean or wash my hair. Talk on the phone… ha!

So… school is starting and I should be relieved because I will have about 2 hours (after travel time) to get some stuff done – but its not the same- because while I’m having ME time, my little baby will be becoming a big boy. He will be having experiences without me and making friends and doing things that I can’t tell him to stop doing and he will be… growing up. He will say things that I won’t hear. He will do things I will never see. He will learn things that I don’t teach him…. I know, it’s healthy and normal.

He’s ready. I’m not…. or maybe I am. I don’t know yet. I just know that this has been the best 3 years of my life. And being solo here, Spenser and I spend pretty much all of our time together and have for all of his life. I need a little time to myself to get stuff done, yet, I don’t really want time away from him.

Life. Just more reminders that nothing stays the same. The baby days were precious and these next years will be too. Just the next step up – a big one.

(btw I’m still dizzy from that video… or from life whizzing by)

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7 Responses to BIG STEPS

  1. Mara says:

    Check out The Gentle Barn. Santa Clarita. If you go, maybe I can join.

  2. Mari says:

    Nice share big boy journey yippy!!!

  3. becklist says:

    I’ve been thinking about when this day will come a lot lately. My child is only 14 months but it has gone so fast. I feel the days of closeness slipping away already. I can see why many women seem to get pregnant again around this time – but it doesn’t feel like a doable option for me. I’ll be curious to hear what your days are like once he starts preschool. Have you thought about a co-op preschool in which you would participate once a week?

    • momsolo says:

      Oh I can TOTALLY see why women get pregnant again!! Co ops are great! I would look into it, but I LOVE the school he’s going to start, so I’m very happy that he’s going there… it’s just the anticipation of change, that’s so hard. There are so many phases of growth and independence. I never realized all the feelings I’d feel at such a young age!

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