“The man drives and the woman sits next to him,” said my three year old, who lives with his mother who drives him EVERYWHERE.
“What are you talking about,” I said. “I drive you and I am a woman!”
“No, the man drives and the woman sits next to him,” he insisted.
We talk about it further and I debunk all his arguments. 🙂
Another day he said: “Two boys can’t get married.”
I happily inform him, “Yes, they can. And two women can too.”
He argued with me a bit. I mention a child in his class who has two dads. “They are married.”
He then accepts my information, openly.
“It’s all about who each person loves and who they want to marry. Or you don’t have to marry anyone. Like Mommy.” I smile and shrug, playfully, to show him how great I feel not being married.
And then he tells me he loves Jasmine. A girl in his class he adores with a hearty, loyal 3 year old passion.
Another day we are playing and he says, “Now you have to be the princess.”
“But I’d like to be a knight,” I say.
“No, you can’t be a knight.”
“Why not?” I ask, with a sinking feeling.
“Because you are a girl and girls have to be princesses.”
OK. Hold the F**k on, people. How did my child, product of an unconventional family, get these old fashioned, conservative thoughts in his head? I’m supposed to be raising a modern boy. What has happened.
“What about the girl in Brave?” I said, “she has a sword and bow and arrow…”
He thought a bit and decided I was right. I could be a knight.
It’s my fault. It’s the media. It’s books, it’s stories, it’s movies – the stuff I’ve been letting him watch. The stuff I watched and the beliefs I had – until I was witness to the world changing and growing.
Time to switch it up!
I’ve been asking friends and searching the web for new books to reprogram my child. I’ve found many – click on these for the ones I’ve found:
Same sex Families and another and another
Do you have any more to add?
Please tell me all your great books and movies so that I may get back on track!!!!!
This is one of my favourite books:http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Night-Pirates-Pop-Up-Adventure/dp/1405256788 The girls are the pirates and a little boy asks if he could join them… So cute! He must have “learned” all that BS in nursery. T is very girly, but she’s also into all sorts of things, which is good. Boys at school tell her that she can’t do certain things, because she’s a girl. We constantly remind her that she can do anything! To be fair though, their school is very good at debunking this myth.
Thank you! This book looks amazing! Yes just all have to keep listening and encouraging and teaching! So glad we are all on top of this! 🙂 We can change the world!
I think your share was wonderful and I feel that those talks with your little man as long as you keep them up will bring forth a wonderful man and human being. Great responses mama! 🙂
Thank you! So sweet and so true! We must stay present, notice things the little ones say and take them seriously AND communicate!! xox
We love the book “Shades of People.” It doesn’t help much on the gender stuff but I think it gets the wheels turning about diversity and how we are both similar and individual at the same time. I love when a new post pops up here!!!