The first time I ever bathed while Spense was awake, he was probably 3.

I put him on my bed, turned on a movie and sank into a hot bubble bath, shaving my legs for the first time in 3 weeks.

I just had to. I needed it.

After about five minutes I heard his footsteps. He’d left his movie and came in to stare at me. I smiled at him and he just stared, as if it never occurred to him that moms needed to clean themselves. Then, he plucked his favorite Superman bath toy from the toy basket and reached his little hand out to me. “Here,” he said. He dropped the toy in my bath. And then added Batman as an afterthought.

It was the sweetest. He was taking care of me. I thought about pretending to play with the toys, but couldn’t pull it off with a straight face.

Spense went back into my room to watch a movie.

When he was 4, he always asked, “Con I shower with you?” when I’d attempt to get clean during normal hours.

Now that he’s almost 5, he knows I don’t play with bath toys in the tub and asks, “Do you want a hot lava shower?”

I always say yes.

This involves him turning off the bathroom lights and shining a flashlight quickly darting around my body and the 3 by 6 curtained-off discotheque that is the shower.