My name is Evie. I am a single mom by choice.
( main photo and this photo by http://www.maracaseyshoots.com/)
When I turned 40, I decided I wanted to have a baby, even though I was not in a relationship. I asked my best friend of 20 years, Dan, to father my child. Dan lives in another state and would not co parent, but would be a loving presence. After almost a year of inseminations with three different doctors, my son Spenser was born in March, 2011.
We live in Los Angeles. I am a writer/actor/producer, which means I’m often looking for the next job in a very competitive business. I am committed to giving my son the best life possible so financially, sometimes I have to get creative.
Over the years, I’ve had some boyfriends, many lascivious associations and hundreds of dates; I never found the one, or anyone I could imagine spending my life with and I feel good about my decision to be on my own.
Maybe someday I’ll find the person I want to be with. Maybe I won’t.
Either way, my life feels full.
Most of the time, I completely forget that I’m supposed to be in a relationship. Our society makes women feel badly about themselves for being single – like we’ve done something wrong or we aren’t whole.
The word single implies a piece missing and waiting for completion.
I prefer to think of myself not as single, but as SOLO:
Solo, like in music: an individual voice or instrument
Solo, like in action: to undertake a venture alone
Solo, like in Star Wars: “Han Solo is a loner who realizes the importance of being part of a group and helping for the common good.” ~George Lucas
After 20 years of terrible dating, unfulfilling relationships and an unwavering desire to be a mom, I asked my best friend, Dan (who happens to be gay) for sperm and I began my pursuit of being a 41 year old, solo, new mother.
Even though I knew I wanted to have a baby on my own, it was incredibly difficult to let go of what I thought my life was going to be and jump into a life I knew nothing about. I had no role models or solo mom friends to give me reassurance that what I was doing would work. This is why I feel that it is important for me to share my experience.
Here’s a little fact for you- according to the US Census 2010: About 39 percent of births in 2010 were to single, separated or divorced women. And almost 10 million single mothers were living with children younger than 18.
I’m grateful that I made the best decision of my life, to be a mom, even though it was the unconventional path. I want to share my stories, hardships and rewards and I hope I can help women who are thinking of becoming Mom Solos.